I was in the grocery store yesterday and went to weigh my fruits and veggies. A young man attended me and was very nice. Surely the way I talk gives away my foreignness. He didn't say anything outright but just kind of looked at me twice. Then I went to the first floor to buy my rice, curry sauce (a rare household condiment here in Colombia) and milk. An older man, who later professed to be 80 yrs old, heard me talking and started talking to me in English. So much for blending in. It turns out he's from the States, and married a Colombian 22 years ago. He's now retired and living in Ibague. We ended up standing just outside the elevator doors for about 10 mins talking in English. Again, I was 'dando papaya' (sticking out). Instead of making me more comfortable, I felt uneasy, especially when he asked me how old I was and if I wanted to go to his house and eat with him and his girlfriend. Hmmm...a bit sketchy.
Finally, roaming around in the oats and cereals aisle (cereal is much less common here and more expensive: a tasty oat drink called avena is the most popular way to have cereal), a red-shirted employee flat out stared at me. A few minutes later, buying popular Sello Rojo coffee, he appeared and asked me the question of the day. You got it. 'So, where are you from?' Urgh! He asked for my phone number. I was thinking whether or not to give it to him, but then thought: why should I? I don't know him, I don't know if he's a trustworthy person and I really wouldn't have much interest in keeping in touch, let alone time. We parted cordially: 'Nice to meet you, too.'
I honestly do enjoy sometimes being looked at twice. People sometimes com
ment on the blue eyes my parents gave me. People call me mona (Mona in other countries means monkey but here it's a coined term for someone with light skin...therefore there's also many Colombian monos – tee hee hee). As in many places, having light skin generally means more privileges. People are very cordial here, and many go out of their way to make small gestures of kindness: opening a door, asking if I need help finding a place, speaking clearly to ensure I understand. I do like it that people are so kind to me. But other times, I ask, 'why am I being treated with more politeness than those around me?' Or sometimes it's the opposite: some people look twice or stare at me and that's it.
Being an extranjera here is a test of my pride. I want people to know I fully understand Spanish. Even though they don't mean it this way, I feel like they think I don't know Spanish when they talk slowly or indicate numbers with their hands.
If I get frustrated about people looking at me twice, I wonder how a woman in Semillas de Esperanza feels when her husband insults her and expects her to carry the weight of the household. I wonder how a committed teen girl in the church feels when her family makes fun of her for going to the church, and when she doesn't have friends to vent to or money to go and drink a coffee outside her house.
Picture: Sharing my birthday with the church community. They bought a cake and several people from the church came on a Sat. night to share it together.
I arrived home last night sensitive and frustrated. With this same attitude, I quickly grabbed a glass bottle out of the fridge. I lost grip and it shattered on the floor. That stopped me dead in my tracks. Relax. Miriam, what good are you doing in a bad mood, you're breaking things and aren't thinking clearly. I started to cry. God, I'm being self-centered. How many people in Ibague or the church are going through truly frustrating or desperate situations and here I am frustrated over sticking out.
After calming down, 30 minutes later Amanda, the pastor called me. Hey, you wanna come for a coffee with us? They were totally wacky that night: Daniel, her husband, is a real clown and makes more jokes than my dad. God must have been laughing his guts out last night, watching us bent over in laughter along Ibague's main street. It was just what I needed to get myself out of the self-pity puddle.
Today, I'm still a Canadian mona living in Colombia but am glad there's people surrounding me that radiate life, energy and laughter. It's a good reminder that when I take care of myself, I can also share that with people I meet every day. Until next time, keep your stick on the ice.
